My two roommates and I moved into a new apartment at the end of April 2009. We decided to split all utilities equally, each of us taking responsibility for handling one – electric, gas, and internet. Electric and gas? No problem. Internet? Another story entirely.
In fact, it quickly outgrew the boundaries of anything that could be labeled a story, and became a saga. An epic tale of skirmishes won and lost (mostly lost), the nearly-insurmountable obstacles of human incompetence and an automated “customer service” system; hopes for redemption raised time after time, only to be frustrated once again by that faceless corporate entity known as Time Warner Cable (henceforth referred to as “TWC” or “Those Worthless Cowards,” or other similar variants).
A quick digression: not satisfied with the word “coward” above, I just looked up some Shakespearean insults beginning with the letter C. I quite like “Clamorous Harbinger Of Blood And Death,” though “Caterpillar Of The Commonwealth” is good too. More concise options include “Churl,” Clod,” and “Cur.”
Back to the matter at hand. Our mission was to have internet installed in our apartment. Some background: we live in Brooklyn, which has a population of 2.5 million people – meaning that if it were counted on its own instead of lumped together with the rest of the New York boroughs, it would be the fourth most populated city in the United States. So you wouldn’t think it would be that hard to have internet access in an apartment there, would you? No, you wouldn’t.
But you’d be wrong. Again: we moved in at the end of April – let’s say May. It is now SEPTEMBER. After innumerable phone calls and literally hours of time spent on hold, after seven appointments – more hours spent waiting for technicians who half the time did not show up, and the other half of the time, when they did show up, “couldn’t find anything wrong” – we still do not have working internet. And in a classic case of adding insult to injury, the last time a TW technician deigned to show up for an appointment, he managed, not to fix the problem, but to break my dental retainer. Which I have been informed will be expensive to replace.
So now I have given up on getting them to come fix the internet, and I am fighting a new battle: getting them to pay for the damage they caused. Because THEY OUGHT TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. At this point, though, there doesn’t seem to be any recourse to be had through TW itself: I called to report the damage, spent the obligatory 20 minutes on hold, received a call four days later, scheduled a time for a “damage assessment specialist” to come to the apartment, waited at the appointed time for said specialist, who – surprise! – did not show up.
I called three more times, leaving messages each time; I called the main customer service number to report it again, received a new reference number, and…no call. I left a fourth message. Nothing. I went to the company website and sent an e-mail through it; I received an automated e-mail back that they would respond in 48 hours. NINE DAYS LATER, I received another e-mail, informing me that my message had been forwarded to their damage claims division and I should be hearing from them “shortly.” Meanwhile, they “look forward to keeping [me] as a satisfied Time Warner Cable customer.” Which would be a neat trick, as I am not, and never have been, a satisfied TWC customer. I did read about them once, though – satisfied TWC customers, I mean – in a book about mythical creatures. Right between hippogriffs and unicorns.
Meanwhile, I’ve been inspired by Heather B. Armstrong’s (a.k.a Dooce) example. Here’s her account of her own nightmarish customer service experience, complete with happy ending: http://dooce.com/2009/08/28/containing-capital-letter-or-two.
While I wait for SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, I’ve been batting around the idea of taking them to small claims court. Which would be a whole new adventure. Then again, those of us who aren’t Dooce and don’t have a million-plus followers must use the tools available to us. Talk about “the plot thickens” – now we’ve got dentists AND lawyers.
Just for funsies, I did a search for "Time Warner" through my e-mail and chat history, and culled about seven pages' worth of material in a Word doc. I don't want to overwhelm you, so for now I'll just share the e-mail I sent to TW, and the responses I received.
September 1, e-mail to parents, roommates, friends
Re: for your amusement…
...because I sure don't expect any actual results. Here's what I sent to Time Warner:
Hello. I am writing because my roommates and I have had little success calling the customer service number, and I'm hoping for a more positive outcome through this route. We have been trying to have internet service installed and then repaired since May 2009; it is now September, and we still do not have reliable, working internet service. This is after no fewer than six or seven scheduled appointments and countless phone calls and time spent on hold; the technicians only showed up for three of the scheduled appointments - that's a rate of 50%, at best.
You can understand why we are running low on patience. However, I'm not writing now about the internet service (or lack thereof) itself, but because the technician who came on August 7 was responsible for breaking a dental retainer, which was on a night-table he climbed over to get out the window. I called to report this, and four business days later received a call from Tony Alvarez (718.609.4362), who scheduled a time for a "damage assessment specialist" to come verify the damage. This person did not show up during the appointed time (between 4-6pm on August 21). When I called at 5:50pm because he had not shown up, I was told that he had called (he didn't) but that the appointment was still open and he would be there before 7pm. He was not.
Since then, I have called and left messages for Tony three times, to no avail. I spoke to another customer service rep today, who gave me a new reference number and said I would need to wait for Tony to call (this the result of 20 minutes on the phone, mostly on hold). I know that once the damage assessment does come, that is only the first step in the process of being reimbursed. This worries me. Yet, I have not lost hope that this can be resolved in a satisfactory and timely manner. I look forward to hearing from a representative, either by phone or e-mail (xxx.xxx.xxxx, e-mail@address.com), as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
J
*
September 1, automatically generated e-mail from TWC to JA
Re: Time Warner Cable of NYC
Thank You.
We've received your recent inquiry. If you have requested a
reply, please allow 48 business hours for a response.
However, if you are without service and require immediate
assistance please contact your local Customer Service
department.
*
September 10, e-mail from
Re: Time Warner Cable of NYC
Thank you for your recent message to Time Warner Cable.
We do sincerely apologize for any problems that you have experienced. When you call or write to our Customer Support staff with a question or concern, we are prepared to do our best to help you.
The message you have sent us has been forwarded to our damage claims division and you should be hearing from them shortly.
Once again, we do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you, and look forward to keeping you as a satisfied Time Warner Cable customer.
If you have any additional questions or need future assistance please contact us at support_nyc@twcable.com or call our 24 hour Customer Support Line at 212 or 718-358-0900.
Sincerely,
Time Warner Cable
Customer Support
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